I have been wanting to write My God Story for quiet a while and could never feel the right time until now so, now here goes...I was saved in 1984 and got baptised in a lake in upstate NY where i am originally from. I thought i was leading a Christian life and serving GOD. I was involved in the same Church for over 12 yrs. I thought i was getting fed spiritually. Something was missing...My whole family attended this church. My Earthly Father was a deacon, usher and church treasurer. My Mom was a Sunday school teacher. I helped out at much as i could and shortly there after became a Sunday school teacher. I loved going to church and everything about it....I was still missing something and not until many years later did i find what i was missing and had been searching for my whole life. I got married to a man and had 3 beautiful children with him. My children grew and become adults themselves. My Father got diagnosed with lung cancer in the early to late 1990's ...He had been exposed to aspetos brake shoes for over 30 years. He was told by a Dr that the only chance of survival was to have the whole lung removed. He later had that done and led a wonderful life still singing as a soprano in our church choir...He was amazing. He could sing better then most people could with 2 lungs...Life was good..Dad was on the mend. My life as i knew it was changing. I had been in an abusive relationship for many years and didn't see it because i knew no better. Thru counseling i realized that the relationship i was in was not a good one and needed to leave. I did just that. Things changed and my husband said he was going to counseling and would get help...He never did. Things got worse..Things were changing. In May of 2000 my Precious Daddy was re diagnosed with cancer. We were told that he had a few months to live. He said he only had a few weeks. GOD spoke to him and told him to gets his things in order. He was coming HOME...My Dad was at home in hospice care. July 10, 2000. While he was lying in his bed with all of his kids and some grand kids were around him when my Mom prayed and told My Dad that it was ok for him to go. It was 3 weeks to the day.. She said Clifford u can leave now...Your work is done. With that My Dad took his last earthly breath and began taking his NOW heavenly breath with his Daddy ( JESUS). It was hard so hard. I had not been thru that kind of hurt and pain since my younger sister was hit and killed by a drunk driver. The days a head were hard. We leaned on JESUS because we knew that My Daddy was in a better place. Even though our hearts were breaking we knew somehow deep inside we would be ok. We had to concentrate on Mom now. Both of my Parents were GOD fearing Parents. They have found their true love many years back in 1977. Jesus was their one true love. The years passed and Mom never stopped missing Dad. I tried to be there for her...She was coming along and finally realized Dad was in a better place. Mom's health started deteriorating...In May of 2005 my Mom got sick. We later found out that she had full blown Ovarian Cancer and was given 3 wks too live. I was My Moms health care proxy and she asked me to make sure things would be done according to her will...No life support, no artificial support. She knew her life was over because Jesus and my Dad were waiting for her. She died gracefully the way she wanted. We were all around to say our last goodbyes....Remembering all of the times we had together....I was so blessed to have had this. To be able to say so long see u on the other side...My life was broken at that time. I was a broken and confused woman. I had a whole in my heart that no one could fill. In May of 2005 my Son Jim and his family moved down to Nc. Jim and myself helped him move down here. When we came here i felt at home some how and in Sept of 2005 Jim and i made this new place our home...Well at least I did. We lived in a 3 bedroom apartment with Jimmy and family until Jim could find a job. In DEC 2005 we moved into our own place. I was so happy. Looking forward to starting a new life, with the love of my life. I was so excited. We found a new Church to attend. What more could we want. We were living in GODS country. I missed my family in buffalo horribly but soon got over the hurt i was feeling. Everyday was a different day. Calvary Chapel of the Triad was the church we had been looking for. I had finally found my way back home. Things between Jim and I got strange. He was working as a apartment complex as a maintenance man. He was on call 24/7. He started getting pages and leaving the house at all hours of the day and night. My walk with GOD got closer and closer. GOD knew what was about to happen and he was preparing me to walk thru the storm and not around it. Jim started staying out all night...The calls to him were relentless. The never answered phone calls by jim...Finally in Aug of 2006 GOD said it is time to confront Jim. I asked him if he was having an affair with a woman at his work place. He looked me right in the eyes and said YES I AM...MY HEART DIED. What i had feared was coming true. Things got worse that night. He made threats and was removed from the apartment. I haven't seen him since then..My life as i had known it had come to a screeching halt...I was in a strange state. No family really and no friends so i thought...God knew what he was doing when he moved me down to North Carolina. He knew about the dramatic change my life was going to take. He knew that if this had happened to me in Buffalo that i would have ended my own life as it was. He knew everything...Everything...My life became some what of a blur after that. My good Friends Dave and Kris Pegram could explain...I was in a fog....Sickness, dr's, hospitals and pills became a big part of my life. I was staying with Kris and Dave because i almost died 2 times. I was having seizures from sleep deprivation, no food and no sleep. Thank GOD for Kris and Dave...GOD knew what i needed...He planted them right in front of me...I was and am so blessed to have them in my life..Things changed so fast for me...All i wanted to do was end my life...JESUS knew that. He had to get me into a place where i could realize that all that was important was HIM..Once He got me to that safe place i realized i didn't need the drugs anymore and i wanted to live more then ever now...Praise GOD....I became evicted out of my apartment. I was homeless for the 1st time in my life...I wasn't sure what i was going to do but GOD did...He knew from the start..I ended up back in Buffalo. The place that i thought i was only going to visit sometime. That was a learning experience. Learn to count on GOD..He has it all under control...I was taken in by a wonderful person...Her name is Mrs. Monomakhoff ...She was an angel that had been sent to help me by my earthly angel...Kathleen Loree.. Mrs M is Kathleen's Mother...I was so blessed and could finally heal and put some of the past behind me..I was not feeling like i was home though. I was missing North Carolina and the family that became my true family..Kris and Dave were calling me and telling me that my home was here in N C and i could come back and stay with them...So i went to buffalo in Oct of 2006 and returned to my home town of NC Feb 2007...I stayed with Kris and Dave for a mnth and then moved in with my Son, Daughter in law and grandsons. Life was good....In Dec of 2008 i moved out with the clothes on my back and didn't want to go back. God was directing my path and i needed to let Him be the driver. I could no longer control what was going on in my life. I became homeless and then had a home and then became homeless again...I will say this..It is an experience i will never forget. Traveling around with bags and boxes. I appreciate what GOD allows me to have. I was wondering where GOD wanted me to be and what He wanted me to do. I was blessed to have another living arrangement become available PRAISE GOD...I will keep that nameless....I realized that i am loved more then i had been my whole life. People love me for me and the person that i am because of GOD. My life is not the same anymore and all though things get me down i need to look up. He is in control...I can't change the circumstance...ONLY GOD CAN GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO BARE THINGS. My life is a GOD STORY. All i wanted to do was die...I wanted to take all the pills that i own to make the pain end. Now i realize that i don't want to die...I just want the pain to end. Now all I want to live...LIVE FOR JESUS...He endured so much pain so that we can live. How can i let Him down. He has a master plan for me. He loves me unconditionally. I owe Him a debt that i can never repay. I am so blessed to be where i am today. GOD knows me better then i know myself...From now on i walk in GODS steps.....I would like to say thank you to all of my biological and un biological family that have stood by me....I would also like to thank Pastor David Mcgee, Nora Mcgee and the names go one for being there for me when all seemed lost. I am not alone..I am loved and many many thanks to D and D....I love you guys so much...So with all of this being said,,,I sure hope that this story can help someone when they feel like that have no one to depend on. When all hope is lost...GOD IS THE WAY...HE IS REALLY ALL THAT MATTERS...THE SOONER WE ALL REALIZE THAT THE EASIER OUR WAY BECOMES....